It’s Christmas Eve afternoon. On Christmas Eve afternoons for the past 9 years (since I’ve been in ministry) I’ve been used to putting final touches to sermons for the Midnight service and Christmas morning service. And then doing my share of the food preparation.
But not this year. My long recuperation after my sudden illness in September means I’ve no services to take and I’m not really capable of doing much in the way of food preparation. (I can do but the reality is that it takes me ages to do anything.)
All in all, I’m not feeling particularly Christmassy. And I feel a bit like a spare part. I feel like I’ve been shunted into a siding.
The trouble is I’m more used to doing than being. And yet my recuperation offers the perfect time to reflect, to pray, to be. But I am used to doing.
I will miss leading the Midnight Communion service tonight. And as much as I would like to attend such a service I know that I would be far too tired. We will manage to go to church tomorrow morning though. I hope that will fill the emptiness I feel at present.
But I am blessed by having a loving family who has been there for me.
