Get in the hole!

9th July 2013

So today’s blog actually covers a bit of yesterday too. I got too caught up writing about the Circles program to mention something from earlier in the day.

So briefly. Yesterday lunch time Tom and I drove 5 miles or so down the road to the small town of Davidson. We’d been invited by a church member to join her for lunch on the campus of Davidson College. (That’s university to us Brits.)



Davidson has a student population of around 2,000 and it specialises in “the liberal arts”. The campus is very beautiful and the facilities available to the students are first rate. We were shown the 4 indoor tennis courts (and met the tennis coach who complimented us on Andy Murray’s win.) Then there were the basketball courts which can be turned into a single basketball arena seating 6,000. And the full size pool together with plenty of outdoor tennis courts and an American football field right at the centre of the campus.

We met our friend in the Union building that houses the offices of student support, a cafeteria, a post office and (most impressive of all) a 600 seat theatre. The quality of the theatre can be summed up by the fact that the Royal Shakespeare Company held a season here about 10 years ago. Tom was saying that Keele University has nothing like that and, as he is now closely involved with the drama society there, he was very envious.

So on to today. I know I keep saying about the kindness of people at Fairview UMC but we had another prime example today. Having heard that Tom and I play golf (well attempt to play golf is perhaps more accurate) a church member offered to take Tom out this morning.

Just after 9am, Tom was picked up by the gentleman who said that it was all going to be relaxed. They’d hit a few balls on the driving range and then maybe have a practice round followed by lunch.

About 3pm Tom was brought back and he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. The course they’d gone to was the Trump National Charlotte http://www.trumpnationalcharlotte.com/ Tom had a great time. The gentleman had been very relaxed about play. And if a ball went off the fairway into rough they picked it and placed it. It was just a fun time. And then, as if this wasn’t generous enough, Tom was presented with a club polo shirt.

Meanwhile I was meeting the chairman of the church finance committee, talking about Vacation Bible School and finishing preparation for this Sunday. Oh and coming home to the ironing while Tom went out with the young adult group from church.

Unlike a number of Methodist churches I know, Fairview’s “income” comes mainly from the congregation. They have very few paying lettings and in fact most of the lettings are free to users. So a very different set up to us and the numbers were very different too. But the church runs a tight ship that is clear. Like us they encourage people to give to the church through bank standing order though a good number of people still give cash or cheques. But the finance man said to me that in all seriousness they had had a discussion about whether to have some kind of debit / credit card machine in the foyer as many people are so used to using card payments. (I told him how colleagues who had been to Korea said that in the Methodist Churches there, there are ATMs!)

Going full circle

8th July 2013

Just back from an interesting evening visiting a program run by Mooresville Christian Mission. It seemed to be called “Circles” but I may have got that wrong.

In essence it is a program aimed at helping those in poverty find a way out and supporting them through it. The clients of the program each work with a mentor (an Ally) who encourages them and offers advice. The clients (Circle Leaders) set goals to work towards improving their situation.

It sounds a little bit like the program offered by Christians Against Poverty back in the UK – though I don’t think Circles seeks to help clients manage the debt. https://capuk.org/

Everyone meets for a meal at the start of the evening and as I understand it on a normal evening would then go into groups to share the issues they have faced in the previous week. But this evening the Circle Leaders and the Allies had separate supervision sessions. I felt it would be best if I went with the Allies.

A common theme was the Allies' inability to solve the problems of their clients. One lady confessed, sheepishly, that she’d bought her Circle Leader food recently. This is discouraged. All the other Allies admitted they had done the same at various times.

There was also a concern about sign posting to other agencies / places of expertise. The Allies felt they did not have sufficient knowledge.

One male Ally admitted that he wanted to fix things – though he recognised this was a typically male trait and he couldn’t fix things! But the lady who had bought food said something similar.

I listened in to the discussion with interest and then the facilitator asked if I had any comments. I endorsed what the group had said and assured them that similar issues would occur in the UK. I said about the importance of keeping a professional distance/ boundaries but I also recognised that for caring Christian people this would not always be easy as we’re not heartless.
One of the biggest issues facing people on the program is that they find work but then find that they are worse off than when they were on benefits and fall in to the poverty trap. I said this was the same in the UK all too often. It’s a crazy situation.

On a lighter note. One of the group said to me afterwards “I could listen to you talk all night” which always boosts the ego! (Though probably she just liked the accent rather than the garbage I was spouting!)

I was driven back to the parsonage by a Fairview member who had lived in Mooresville all her life. And as we drove down Main Street she pointed out how things had changed. But the lovely thing about Mooresville is that it still has its main street of shops including a wonderful old ironmonger's shop.

What could possibly go wrong?

7th July 2013

So today was going to be a more normal Sunday at Fairview UMC following the extravaganza last week with the Gospel choir and lunch. What passes for normal at Fairview is quite different to a normal Sunday for me in the UK. The format here is 9am Contemporary Worship, 10am Bible Class and 11am traditional worship. Add in to this mix that it was also communion at both services and it made it a busy morning.

I’d suggested that we use one of the UK Methodist communion services. But to be honest I think this wasn’t a great idea. With a number of other things in the service we had to shoe horn it in which made the flow disjointed. So I’m not sure the Congregation appreciated it.

I suppose I am used to setting the pace and format of a communion service myself rather than having to work around other people. Even at Stratton where the worship leaders usually open worship they know how to accommodate the liturgy and I know how to work with them.

So quite a learning exercise for me about team ministry.

I thought the contemporary worship was excellent. I liked the songs chosen; I thought the graphics that went with the PowerPoint slides beautiful and the worship band and singers did a great job.

The other thing I had to adjust was the length of my sermon for the 9am service. Regardless of what happened I had to be out of the service just before 10am so I could go and teach the Bible class. As it was I’d cut down the sermon length in my notes and given timing I cut it further. But all good experience.

The moral – co-ordinate more with those involved. Though in my defence I had not experienced the Contemporary Worship or how Fairview does communion before.

But this is what the exchange is about; to learn.

Came back feeling pretty tired so was pleased to be able to veg out with my book this afternoon. (Just wish I could have somehow seen the Andy Murray victory at Wimbledon – though he had won by the time I came home from church.)

This evening I went to a rodeo! Well that’s not strictly true it was just Bull Riding. Although I’d seen this on TV in the past it is quite a spectacle. And having met last Thursday a past 2 time bull riding world champion, I knew a little bit about it. Basically the rider has to stay on for 8 seconds. The rider (and bull!) are then marked for technique.


I have to say that other than appreciating someone staying on a bucking bull for 8 seconds I couldn’t really get technique other than maybe neither rider nor bull, er, leaving their mark!

One of the people from Fairview I went with is originally from New York and he’d never been to watch bull riding previously and he was as bemused as I was. But it is a spectacle and the people watching was great.

But it is not just bull riding. After the first lot of bull riding, there were various sections for children and young people. Starting with sheep riding for children aged about 4 or 5! Progressing through calf riding for those aged around 10 I should say and finally for teenagers steer riding. All slightly bizarre. My New York friend and I questioned why anyone would let their 4 year old child ride on the back of a sheep, a calf or a steer in the first place. In the UK this would be illegal on so many counts – especially riding a sheep!

In the half time break there were various games for children. One involved getting the kids to line up against the fence. A bull calf was then let in to the arena. The calf had a bow tied to its tail. The children then chased the calf. The first child to untie the ribbon on the tail won a prize. Children and rampaging calf. What could possibly go wrong? (Fortunately nothing did.)

The evening ended with a firework display. Bulls in pens and loads of fireworks going off overhead. What could possibly go wrong? (Take 2)

All in all a fun evening.

My New York friend and I pondered whether instead of a Fairview softball team there should be a church bull riding team. After all the 2 time former world champion bull rider attends Fairview. Sounds like a plan to me.

I’m not sure many people will have come across a French TV show called Intervilles. We discovered it on holiday. Fair do's to the French they know how to have fun with bulls.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGBbYCdDS1A

Suddenly - nothing happened!

6th July 2013

The day when nothing much happened partly due to a change of plans and partly because of the weather.

This evening we were supposed to be going to a great sounding place called “Sims Barbecue” which features, um, barbecue but also blue grass music and Appalachian clog dancing. Unfortunately it is closed this weekend. So the church outing has been cancelled for now.

Never fear, Tom and I came up with a cunning plan. We’d head to a Bird of Prey centre (the North Carolina Raptor Centre) near Huntersville. This morning was bright and sunny. Unfortunately one member of the household didn’t surface until around 11.30. No fear, the sun was still shining. So we stopped in the delightful town of Davidson for a sandwich and then headed off.

Just as we got to within a mile of the place the heavens opened. So we figured that as most if it would be outdoors we’d come home. Which we did. And now at almost 5pm the sun is shining. Still the Empire wasn’t built by suffering weather setbacks. We’ll try another day.

So what to blog? A few random things I suppose.

North Carolinans

We’ve visited the USA 4 or 5 times before. We’ve mainly been to the West Coast but we’ve also been to Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, Columbus Ohio, Cleveland Ohio and Boston. Americans are always friendly but I have to say North Carolinans are in a different league. Sorry folks from other states but that’s the way it is.

I was expecting a warm welcome at the church and from church people. (Time will tell whether they feel the same after 6 weeks of my ramblings.) And we really have had a wonderful welcome from people in the church. But the same is true of all people we’ve encountered. Yesterday evening getting a Chinese take away (Take Out) the young guy serving us happily chatted away to us for ages. And this morning taking a walk round the block a police car drove past and the officer inside waved at me even though she was on the radio or her cell phone.

We were told by some visiting Rotarians from North Carolina in February that we’d get a warm welcome. They were right.

Begging

Something that is noticeable here and on previous visits to the USA is begging. Last Saturday in Charlotte we were accosted 2 or 3 times in the space of 400 yards. And yesterday in Greensboro we were accosted once.

I think the difference is that often in the UK the person begging is static i.e. sat on the ground maybe with a small sign. Whereas often here the person begging is walking around and comes right up to you.

My usual practise (whether in the UK or here) is to say “no thanks” or “sorry” but not give any money. (I’ve been told by different people from different agencies over the years never give money to beggars as it may go to fuel a drink or drug habit.) Back at home I assuage my guilt by giving money to charities that assist the homeless.

But I must admit that yesterday in Greensboro, whilst not feeling entirely intimidated, I did feel uneasy and gave the guy some loose change.

People beg in the UK too. But somehow not in such a blatant way. And the perception is that in the UK not as many people beg.
And I’m not making any judgement about the whys or wherefores. I’m just relating what I see.

But of course there is always that sense isn’t there of “passing by on the other side.” I should practice more what I preach such as offering to buy the person a sandwich. But there’s never a sandwich shop round when you need it. Like Rex in Toy Story “Now I have guilt!”

Greensboro sit in

5th July 2013

Took some time out today to do some exploring and Tom and I headed off to Greensboro and Winston – Salem. Tom had been reading up about these places in our guide book and we wanted somewhere that wouldn’t be too far to drive to make the most of just over half a day.

Tom said that he’d read about a museum in Greensboro that looked at the history of the Civil Rights movement. As he is very interested in history and politics (as am I) we headed for this.

I was expecting a fairly traditional museum with exhibits in cases. So I was really surprised by this excellent modern museum that tells the story of the Civil Rights movement through film, exhibits and a guided tour. (Our guide was excellent. A young African American guy who was passionate about his subject but avoided being too preachy by use of some nice touches of humour.)

I was aware of course of the segregation that had existed in the South. But I had not appreciated the extent. For example not only were there separate Whites and Coloreds (sic) waiting rooms at bus stations, there were separate Coke vending machines. With the Coke in the Colored room costing 10 cents as opposed to 5 cents in the White room.

There were countless other examples. But there were a couple of things that I was pleased to note. Firstly our guide pointed out that a good many White people were active in their support of the Civil Rights movement. (In a montage of mug shots of people arrested for protesting, there were a good number of White people including a priest from one of the northern states.)

Secondly our guide emphasised that the Church played a big part in the Civil Rights movement and whilst some Christians tried to use a distorted version of their faith to support separatism (my words not his) most did not.

The museum is housed in an old Woolworths store and this store played an instrumental part in the Civil Rights movement. On 1st February 1960 four black students entered the store and went up to the Whites only cafeteria and sat down. They each requested something from the menu and were refused service because the café was Whites only. Their action led to a whole lot of similar protests around the country. The story can be seen here http://www.northcarolinahistory.org/commentary/299/entry



A really excellent museum. I’m so pleased Tom spotted it.

A nice touch is that the street that runs down the side of the museum is now called February 1st Street.

On a slightly bizarre note, one of the lovely signs North Carolina puts up to demark places of historic interest, stands further down the street. The purpose of the sign – to mark the place where Vick’s Vapour rub was developed!

On our way back to Mooresville we stopped at Old Salem just outside Winston Salem. This is a lovely historic area. Unfortunately, as it was late in the day we didn’t have chance to properly look round as the historic buildings that can be visited were closing. But once Anne is over we’ll go back to visit.

A really interesting and thought provoking day.

Would you like a heart by pass with that?

4th July 2013

Technically this blog covers the evening of 3rd July too but is about 4th July.

So yesterday evening we went to dinner at the house of new friends. We had a great time with them and Tom and I were amazed and humbled to hear of their time working as missionaries in a rough part of Baltimore. Living opposite a crack house. This would have scared the dickens out of me but they were matter of fact about it and in fact probably would have stayed longer if it wasn’t for starting a family.

They live near the large YMCA sports complex in Mooresville and a large Firework display is held there on the evening of 3rd July. Which is why we’d been invited when we were.

Before the display we took a walk around. There were the usual stalls you find at such events selling t shirts and cheap toys. And there were also a wide selection of stalls selling snacks. Our friend took us to a stall that was selling “Deep Fried Oreos” (cookies beloved by Americans) and “Deep Fried Kool Aid”. Our friend insisted we try the Deep Fried Oreos. Four of these biscuits were dipped in batter, deep fried and then dusted with icing sugar. (Dusted is a slight understatement; this was not so much a dusting as an avalanche.) I ate one and Tom tasted a quarter of one. I was the polite Brit and ate it all and pronounced it “Quite nice” whereas Tom said “That’s disgusting” which was closer to the truth.

Our friend then told us when he’d visited the State Fair last year he’d seen a stall selling “Deep Fried Butter”. It makes the Scottish delicacies of Deep Fried Mars Bar and Deep Fried Pizza seem very boring in comparison.

(I couldn’t figure out the Deep Fried Kool Aid as Kool Aid is a drink. All I can think of is Kool Aid is mixed in to the batter somehow.)

We walked back to our friends’ house as we’d be able to watch the fireworks from their back garden. Unfortunately, just as we gathered outside it started to rain so we watched the fireworks in warm rain. (To be honest although I enjoyed the fireworks I enjoyed seeing Fireflies more. I’d not seen these before.)

Today we’d been invited to a family 4th July party at a friend who owns a property on Lake Norman. And it was a lovely relaxed day. We spent time chatting to some very interesting people including a man who is a former soldier from Texas and who was World Bull Riding champion twice. And has the scars to prove it. We also met a lady who comes from Canada originally but is married to an American soldier.

This is probably the longest I’d spent talking to a Canadian and I’d not realised how many links Canada retains with Britain. For example they spell words such as “Harbour” with the U in place. They have Boxing Day on 26th December. She painted such a great picture of Canada that I want to visit sometime. I wonder if they do exchanges?

Sadly about 5.30pm as were about to sit down by the lake to eat a thunder storm arrived. everyone grabbed something and we went up to the house and set up in the large double.

I got the impression that 4th July is a time for family and we certainly were part of the extended family today. And as always we were well fed including some fantastic slow cooked brikset complete with a Texas barbeque sauce. Mmmm!

More effective pastoring

3rd July 2013

A day of pastoral situations which I can’t mention here. But as always as a minister it is an enormous privilege when people confide in me or seek advice or just need me to listen. More so when folks here have only known me for about a couple of weeks.

What is noticeable is how people have to respond to some of these situations. In the UK some of the things I’ve been hearing about would mean the involvement of Community Psychiatric Nurses. But nothing like that seems to exist here. So it is down to people to support those in need as it were themselves. It says a lot for the church here that it has people willing to offer the support. Though I can’t help but wonder whether it is asking a lot of ordinary people to provide support to families coping with someone recently discharged from a psychiatric unit after attempting suicide.

Yet if there are no alternatives church people step up to the plate. And at Fairview they do.

Fairview UMC has a good number of people who are trained Stephen Ministers. I need to spend some time with these people and find out more. But here is a link to a web site that explains the ministry
http://www.stephenministries.org/



From what I’ve seen so far, this seems an excellent model. Equipping God’s people to pastor to members of the church.

On the web site of Stephen Ministries Dr. Kenneth C. Haugk, founder and Executive Director of Stephen Ministries, describes the beginnings of Stephen Ministry and the Stephen Ministries organisation:

“It was 1974. Fresh out of seminary and graduate school in clinical psychology, I had high hopes for providing pastoral care to people in my congregation and community. That’s where my gifts were. That’s why I felt called to the pastoral ministry—to bring Christ’s love to hurting people.
But reality quickly set in. There were so many needs and only one of me. And only so many available hours in a day. I had a church full of needs, but also a church full of people. So the solution was obvious: “equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (Ephesians 4:12 NRSV). Stephen Ministry was born.”

I’m sure many of my minister friends reading this will relate to it. We have a heart for our people but only so many hours in the day and a whole lot of other responsibilities. And, let’s face it, not all ministers do have the right gifts or a feel a calling to be, first and foremost, pastors. Many of us recognise that there plenty of non-ordained people who are better at this than we are. Yet there is still an expectation that only the minister will do.

The reality is of course than many ministers have had no formal training in listening skills, pastoral care, Christian counselling etc. etc. So as a starting point wouldn’t it be great if all ministers were expected to complete something like the Stephen ministry course? And better still wouldn’t it be good for churches to have some trained Stephen ministers? Or at least a team at Circuit level?

One of the best pieces of training I had to equip me for ministry was undertaking the Certificate in Christian Counselling course with Willows Counselling in Swindon http://www.willowscounselling.org.uk/.

I don’t feel that God has called me first and foremost to be a pastor (though this is part of who I am) yet all minsters, whatever their calling, have to be pastors. If I hadn’t undertaken that course during probation I know I would have been far less effective as a pastor.