The cost of being a disciple

 

This is the Reflection I wrote for Sunday 28th June 2020 on Genesis 22: 1 - 14

“They mess you up your mum and dad, they may not mean to, but they do” so wrote the poet Philip Larkin in his poem “This be the verse”. (Actually, it’s a bit ruder than that but this has the same meaning.) And I think it fair to say that had Philip Larkin been writing at the time of Abraham, Sarah and Isaac, Isaac would have related to those words.

Imagine for a moment you are Isaac. Probably, you are in your teens, as we would say. (The Hebrew word translated as “son” can be translated as “lad” which suggests an older boy.) You have these two elderly parents. You have a vague memory from childhood of playing with a boy called Ismael (did someone say he was your half-brother?) But one day Ishmael and his mother Hagar had gone. Apparently, your father had sent them away. Why?

So, you have that concern about your father. “Could he do that to me?”

One day your father tells you “We are going on a journey to make a sacrifice to God.” “Why do we have to go on a journey Dad? Why can’t we sacrifice here?” But you are a good lad and you go along with your father and the two servants. Even though your father Abraham seems a bit subdued and can’t look you in the eye.

You reach the spot and you help your father build an altar. “But Dad. You forgot the sheep. What are we going to sacrifice?” And your Dad goes all mystical “God will provide the lamb for sacrifice”. But next thing you know your father is making you lie down on the altar. You’re bound, you can’t move. Then your Dad produces a knife and looks as if he’s about to kill you, even though he’s got tears in his eyes and says he’s sorry and asks you to understand it’s God’s will.

But then there is a voice that tells your Dad to stop and points your Dad to a ram that can be used to make the sacrifice.

Your Dad does this and the same voice, an Angel of the Lord, says that because your Dad had been prepared to sacrifice you, God will bless your Dad and his descendants. And all subsequent people will be blessed too including you Isaac.

Of course, the writer of Genesis doesn’t tell us how Isaac feels after this incident. But surely his relationship with his father must have been marred by it? For the rest of Isaac’s life, he must have always been wary of his father or resentful.

If you remember, last week we looked at the story of Hagar and Ishmael and I commented that I didn’t think the story cast Abraham in a good light when he throws Hagar and his son Ishmael out in to the desert. And we could feel the same about Abraham in this week’s story too. But setting aside our empathy with Isaac, I think we should not be so hard on Abraham.

Although I have started this reflection thinking about the relationship between Abraham and Isaac, the story isn’t really about that. The story is about God and Abraham. The story is about Abraham trusting God and more so God trusting Abraham.

Reading the story, we know that God is testing Abraham. We know that God does not intend to kill Isaac, but that God is testing Abraham’s faithfulness. And for God, this is important. The story of Abraham in Genesis is about God seeking to create a people, followers, who will be descended from Abraham. If Abraham cannot be trusted wholeheartedly by God, then God will need to find someone else to help God deliver His plan. Is Abraham the faithful one who can carry God’s purpose along? Or does God need to take some other course of action?

This is why God tests Abraham. The Old Testament scholar Walter Brueggemann says “this test by God is not a game; God genuinely does not know how Abraham will react. God did not know. Now He knows.”

As for Abraham, he shows his faithfulness and he shows his complete trust in God. And for me the story shows that for Abraham, God will always come first. God comes before Sarah and even Abraham’s beloved son Isaac.

Coming back to Isaac for a moment. Perhaps as Isaac grew older, Abraham explained to him what was really happening on that strange day. Perhaps Abraham said that he felt obliged to do God’s will first and foremost because Abraham trusted in God. And maybe, Isaac grew to understand something of this as he too became one of the Patriarchs of Israel.

This passage raises the question though of our own obedience to God and our own priorities.

A couple of days before we moved from Cirencester to Swindon, for my first appointment, a gentleman called John came to see me. John had been instrumental in nudging me into ministry. John gave me a small carrier bag containing a small wooden cross about 6 or 7 inches high. “This used to sit on my father’s desk and it’s only right that it goes to another minister.” (I hadn’t realised John’s father had been a minister.) Then with tears in his eyes John said something I’ve never forgotten “Promise me you’ll still make time to take your son to watch rugby. My Dad was always too busy to take me to watch football.”

John’s words reminded me of something one of my lecturers at college said. “God has called you to be a husband, a father and a minister. In that order. Don’t forget”.

I have tried to follow John’s advice; I’ve tried to follow my lecturer’s advice. But it is not always easy to do. I want to remain faithful to God and that sometimes dictates priorities. Abraham did not want to sacrifice his son, but for Abraham ultimately faithfulness to God came first.

John’s words made me realise the cost all of us face from time to time in being faithful followers of God. Sometimes we all have to put God before the needs of our families and friends and our own interests.

I do not feel God tests us to check out our faithfulness. I do not believe God sets traps for us or deliberately puts things in our way to see if we remain faithful to him. Though I am sure God is pleased when we remain faithful to Him during the trying times, we all encounter from time to time.

God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it. 1 Cor 10:13 NRSV

Reflecting on Father's Day

 

This is the Reflection I wrote for Father's Day 21st June 2020

Today is Father’s Day. And I’ve done some research about this day. It originated in the United States. Not, as you might assume as some commercial opportunity. Rather it came about through the actions of a woman called Sonora Smart Dodd. Sonora was by all accounts enormously proud of her father who had served in the American Civil War. Apparently one Sunday, when sat in the Methodist Church in Spokane Washington, and being told of the origins of Mother’s Day, (not to be confused with Mothering Sunday by the way) she thought there should be a Father’s Day. And the first one was held on 19^th June 1910.  I don’t know how or when Father’s Day arrived on these shores.

I mention Fathers’ Day though as the inclusion of one of our Bible readings from the Lectionary seems odd for today. I’m thinking of Genesis 21: 8 – 21. On the face of it a passage that doesn’t portray Fathers in a good light.

Let’s go back a couple of chapters and have a recap of what has taken place before we arrive at today’s reading: Abraham is incredibly old, and he has a big problem. He has no heir. To compound Abraham’s problem, his wife Sarah is also old, way past the child-bearing years of her life. But Sarah comes up with a wonderful idea. She has a young Egyptian slave named Hagar. Sarah suggests to Abraham that Hagar could provide him with an heir. And Abraham agrees. Hagar has no choice in the matter. She’s a slave, and she must do what Sarah tells her to do. Sure enough, Hagar becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son, who is called Ishmael. Abraham must have been very proud of this son that he had given up hope of having, and undoubtedly, he must have also felt differently toward Hagar than he had when she was just Sarah’s slave. Big problem.

Sarah realises it was not such a good idea. The relationship between Sarah and Hagar began to change. Hagar had given Abraham something Sarah could not give him. And Sarah was extremely jealous of Hagar, and when jealousy enters a relationship, trust begins to disintegrate.

Then, miraculously, Sarah becomes pregnant and has her own son, Isaac.  Sarah’s jealousy shifts into high gear. She can’t stand the thought of Abraham’s other son, Ishmael, inheriting Abraham’s wealth and family name as eldest son. Something that Sarah believes should belong to Isaac. Sarah demands that Abraham throw Hagar and Ishmael out of their home, sending them off into the desert. Again, without one word of protest, Abraham agrees. (You understand now why this was a difficult text for Father’s Day.)

Any humane modern reader of the Bible will empathize with Hagar and Ishmael in this story. Ishmael didn’t ask to be born, and as a slave Hagar had no choice but to do what Sarah commanded her to do. And what does Hagar get for her obedience? She and her son are driven out into the desert and abandoned. But God does not punish Abraham and Sarah. In fact, God says to Abraham, "Don’t worry about the boy or the slave woman. Just do what your wife says." (See Genesis 21:12)

It’s not a story we can lightly explain away. Sarah was green with jealousy, and Abraham didn’t have the backbone to stand up to his wife when he had to know that what she demanded of him was wrong. These were big, important people, heroes of the Old Testament, but they were envious and cowardly. Yet despite their all-too-human frailties, God would make something out of their lives. Surely that’s not right? That’s not fair.

What do we make of it? This story doesn’t paint anyone (other than Hagar and Ishmael) in a good light. Even God doesn’t look good. Just a couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend who is a local preacher about this passage and Genesis 22: 1 – 19. And we both said we feel very uncomfortable with the way God appears in these stories. After all in Genesis 22 God  sends Abraham out to sacrifice Isaac, and Abraham was on the point of doing it before God intervenes.

As I’ve said, I don’t think this story (or the following chapter in Genesis) paints God in a good light. And yet there is a positive side to this sad story of Hagar and Ishmael. God makes something out of them. Alone in the desert, dying of thirst, God comes to Hagar and tells her of the great destiny that awaits Ishmael, that he too will be the father of a great nation. (Understood today to mean the Arab nation.)

There are many ways in which this story can be used. It is through this story that Muslims see Abraham as a patriarch of their faith. (They regard Ishmael as a prophet.) And, as I understand it, many African Americans and Afro Caribbeans relate to the story. It’s not hard to see why – the story of a slave woman exploited and cast aside must ring true for many. It is the story of so many of their ancestors. Sadly, for many people of colour it is a story that still resonates today. That sense of being treated as second class citizens, of being rejected. The Black Lives Matter protests stir up all manner of feelings and views. But let’s not forget that deep down they have been sparked by the injustice experienced by many people of colour in many parts of the world.

Professor Fred Craddock was a highly thought of American preacher of the second half of 20^th century. In fact, he was Professor of Homiletics (preaching, in other words) at several universities.

Craddock related how he and his wife were once on holiday in Tennessee. One night they found a quiet little restaurant, where they looked forward to a private meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table, talking to the other diners.

In due course the man came to the Craddocks’ table and they struck up conversation, with Craddock explaining what he did for a living.

"Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well, I’ve got a story to tell you." And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with Craddock and his wife.

The man stuck out his hand. "I’m Ben Hooper," he said. "I was born not far from here. My mother wasn’t married when I was born, so I had a pretty hard time growing up. When I started school, my classmates had a name for me, and it wasn’t a very nice name. I used to go off by myself at recess and lunch time because the things they said to me cut me so deep.

"When I was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to our church. I would always go in late and slip out early t avoid the name calling. But one day the preacher said the benediction so fast I got caught and had to walk out with the crowd. I could feel every eye in the church on me. Just about the time I got to the door I felt a big hand on my shoulder. I looked up and the preacher was looking right at me. The preacher said ‘Who are you, son? Whose boy are you?’  I felt so ashamed.” Hooper said. “Even the preacher was putting me down. But as he looked down at me, studying my face, he began to smile, a big smile of recognition. ‘Wait a minute!’ the preacher said. ‘I know who you are. I see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God. Boy, you’ve got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.’”

The old man looked across the table at Fred Craddock and said, "Those were the most important words anybody ever said to me, and I’ve never forgotten them." With that, he smiled shook hands with Craddock and his wife, and moved on to another table to greet old friends. And as he walked away, Craddock remembered who Ben Hooper was. A former governor of Tennessee.

Putting aside how God is seen in this story, I prefer to think of the God we see in Jesus Christ. Every one of us is a child of God no matter who we are. Every person is the same in his sight. By God’s grace that is every person’s inheritance.

(The Fred Craddock story comes from www.sermons.com)

Could do better - but have faith

 

This is the Reflection I wrote for Sunday 14th June 2020 Matthew 10

Jesus made it look all so easy. Turn up in a city or village. Preach in the synagogue, heal the sick, give sight to the blind, raise the dead. No problem. Now it’s the disciples’ turn.  And suddenly it’s more difficult.

I used the analogy in my Pentecost reflection, that Pentecost was a graduation party for the disciples. They’d fully qualified to go out into the word and proclaim the Good News, after spending three years training. Continuing that analogy, I think we can think of this passage as the disciples doing a work-based placement!

The task Jesus sets the disciples isn’t an easy one. Whilst they don’t have to go to Gentiles or Samaritans and only have to concentrate on “the lost sheep of Israel” Matthew 10:6, they are told

 ⁷ As you go, proclaim the good news, “The kingdom of heaven has come near.”^[c] 8 Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers,^[d] cast out demons. Matthew 10: 7 – 8

They must receive no payment; they must travel with the minimum belongings. They need to find out “some worthy person” to stay with. And so on and so on.

Is anyone, apart from Jesus, up to such a job? No human follower of Jesus could achieve all that surely? And yet maybe those first followers of Jesus set off feeling they could do these things. They had every confidence having had the best teacher ever. (Though as a reading of the Gospels shows, the disciples, before Pentecost often fall short of what Jesus hoped of them.)

If the disciples fall short after being personally trained by Jesus, what hope have we got? For starters, let me tell you during my ministerial training there was no training on curing the sick or raising the dead!

We do not know what “training” the disciples had before they set out. But what we do know is that they set out with faith and not much more. Although equally we know from elsewhere in the Gospels that Jesus often chided the disciples for not having enough faith. See for example Matthew 17: 14 – 20 where the disciples fail to heal a demon possessed boy.

¹⁹ Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, ‘Why couldn’t we drive it out?’

²⁰ He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’ 

Therefore, although the disciples set out with faith, their faith wasn’t sufficient for the task.

And that I feel is the stumbling block for us. We feel our faith isn’t sufficient to go out into the world to get Christ’s work done. We also feel that even if we had faith to share the Good News, how will we get our message heard in a world where so much other “news” dominates?

And then of course there is the second part of the passage about not needing any money or clothes or possessions because they will be provided for. But by the way disciples, you can expect, floggings, to be arrested, betrayal by family members which might end up with you being put to death.

Would any of us be prepared to go out into our community, let alone the wider world, if that was what was required of us? I doubt it. I know I wouldn’t.

All in all, this passage is quite disheartening I feel. We know we should be better disciples. We know we are told to at least proclaim the Gospel (even if the healing of the sick and raising of the dead is above our pay grade.) But we aren’t able to do that effectively. What’s the point?

The point is, that throughout history, amazing things, seemingly impossible things, have been done and continue to be done through ordinary members of the Church. Jesus’ words have encouraged and motivated far more than the twelve disciples listed in these verses. 

I don’t know if you’ve seen the previous series, but I can recommend “A house through time” on BBC 2. It is a bit like “Who do you think you are?” but instead it focuses on a single house and who has lived there over the centuries. The current series looks at a house in Bristol and the house was originally owned by a series of ships captains and traders all involved in the slave trade. Without giving too much away the fortunes of the house changed when John Wesley set up a Methodist chapel in the street. The wives of various captains started to attend the chapel and these women, in a small way, started to bring about the end of the slave trade after hearing Wesley’s ante slavery sermons.

Nothing is impossible with only a small amount of faith. Having Christ with us, believing Christ is among us enables us to do things we could not believe possible ourselves.

One of the hymns I’ve chosen is “Rejoice”. It picks up this theme perfectly.

God is at work in us His purpose to perform Building a kingdom of power not of words
Where things impossible by faith shall be made possible, Let's give the glory To Him now.

Though we are weak, His grace Is everything we need We're made of clay, but this treasure is within. He turns our weaknesses Into His opportunities So that the glory Goes to Him

Once a Russian Monastery that was dying and declining. The brothers were growing old, many had died. The local villagers had stopped coming to visit the monastery. Young men were no longer interested in dedicating themselves to the monastic order. This decline led to worry, and the loss of hope led to bitterness. In desperation the abbot went to visit an old hermit he had heard about. He hoped that the old man might have some wisdom. The abbot arrived after a long journey and explained their problem to the hermit. The hermit prayed for the abbot but said nothing more. The two men sat in silence for an awfully long time and the abbot patiently waited to hear some word of hope - a blessing, a prophecy, just something simple to try. Finally, the abbot could abide the silence no longer and he begged the hermit for an answer. The hermit replied, "I'm sorry, but there really isn't anything I have to tell you. I don't know what the future holds for the monastery. I am sorry - oh, but there is this - I believe that the Messiah is in your midst." The Messiah? thought the abbot. Among us at the monastery? He rushed back and reported the unexpected news and the brothers began to question, "Who is it?" "Who among us is the Messiah?" Surely not Bro. Nicolaus, he gripes too much. Surely not Bro. Stavros, he is so whiney. But what if ...? And on it went.

And in time as the monks began to suppose that any one of them could be the Messiah, they began to treat each other with respect and kindness and love. That spirit extended into the village and rumours of the Messiah's presence continued so that everyone began to wonder if their neighbour might be the Messiah. And though no one was ever identified as the Messiah, the monastery was thriving, and the village was blessed, and young men devoted themselves to the faith.

Since Jesus is with us always, then discipleship is on-going, and it is every day. It is not something for a special day or a special evening or a special event. It is the pulse of every moment lived in the kingdom of God.

It's enough to give you the PIP

This is a story about PIP. And compared to my usual blogs, it’s a long one.

PIP is Personal Independence Payment. PIP is a benefit paid by the Department of Work and Pensions. According to DWP “Personal Independence Payment (PIP) can help you with some of the extra costs if you have a long-term ill-health or disability.”

PIP is made up of two elements. The Daily Living element and the Mobility element. The Daily Living part is aimed at helping with extras costs for care and the Mobility element is to help pay the additional costs disabled people have in getting around.

I’ve blogged before about my illness and how I suddenly became disabled in 2016, so I’m not going to cover old ground. But in early 2017 I applied for PIP. At that time, I was in a wheelchair.

In order to qualify for PIP you have to be seen by a medical assessor, sometimes a nurse, sometimes a paramedic or physiotherapist. (These are all employed by a private company working for DWP called ATOS or the Independent Assessment Service as they call themselves now. I’m not sure who they are independent of.)

Anyway, in January 2017 an assessor came to the house and assessed my claim. He sent off his report to some minion in DWP who found all the right boxes had been ticked and I was awarded the Enhanced Rate for both daily living and mobility. And this was for 3 years.

For us, the best thing of this was getting the Enhanced Rate for mobility as people with that are entitled to a Motability Car. Motability is a charity originally set up to provide “Invalid carriages” (do you remember the 3-wheeler blue bubble car type things?) Nowadays they help disabled people on PIP (and other benefits) lease cars with adaptations. And the person receiving the car then signs over their PIP mobility to Motability.

So, this was fine. I got a new car, adapted so I can drive just using hand controls and with a hoist in the back so I can lift my mobility scooter in and out.
The car has been wonderful. Without it I couldn’t work, simple as that. And given my disability, and the need to ferry the scooter around, it needs to be a big car – one I wouldn’t ordinarily buy.

As I said, the PIP was awarded for 3 years which means I would need to be reassessed at some point. And in September last year a form arrived from DWP for me to complete. I did this to best of my ability and sent it back. Just before Christmas, I received a letter from DWP inviting me to attend an interview in Swindon for a reassessment. I say “invite” it’s a summons. If you don’t go, your PIP will be stopped.

On Friday 10th January 2020, my wife drove in my adapted car to Swindon. We knew roughly where the assessment centre was and knew that parking wasn’t great round there. (They don’t make it easy do they?) So we took my scooter. Just as well as we had to park a fair way from the centre and once inside it as a big building. My appointment was at 3pm My wife and I arrived at 14.50. I booked in at reception and was told the assessor “Karen” was “running late”. When I asked how long the delay would be, I was told it would be “about half an hour”.

At 15.20 the Receptionist came and told me that I would be seen by Karen but not until around 15.45. I was asked if I wanted to stay or rebook. I said I would stay.

I was already anxious about the assessment and this delay made me even more anxious. So much so that I felt nauseous and went to the toilet.

At 16.00 the Receptionist came and told us that “Karen was now reading the paperwork” and would be ready shortly.

At around 16.05 Karen came out to collect me. I askd Karen how far it was and whether I’d need the scooter. “No, it’s about 10m”.

We were shown into the room and I sat down. Karen apologised for the delay and said, “Because I was running late, I’ve not been able to read all the paperwork.”
It was also clear she was in a rush as she made a comment to the effect “Can’t wait to finish so I can go home for a glass of wine.” This might have been meant in a jocular way, but it did not fill me with confidence that the assessment would be carried out properly.

My assessment took about an hour. During the time Karen (clearly following a script) asked me a whole load of questions relating to my form. And crucially Karen asked how far I could walk. And this turned into a nightmare.

On the form I ticked I could walk between 20m – 50m. I wasn’t certain about this. The reality is I generally can only walk up to about 20m. But sometimes (operative word) I can walk more in fits and starts. I need to stop for the pain to ease. I thought they meant how far in total can you walk so that’s the box I ticked. Big mistake.

The assessment finished, and Karen went off for her glass of wine no doubt, leaving me feeling completely shattered.

A couple of months later a letter from DWP turned up. They considered that I am now only eligible for the standard rates of PIP. I had no gripe about the standard rate for Daily Living but to remove the Enhanced rate for mobility meant I would lose entitlement to the car.

The letter hit me for six. I was reduced to tears and sleepless nights wondering what we would do. My wife assured me that we’d be able to buy a car if needs be – though I know to buy a big enough car and have the adaptations done would be pricey. (The adaptations cost around £3,000.)

But the DWP in their wisdom offer something called “A Mandatory Reconsideration”. In other words, my case is referred to someone higher up the tree who reviews the whole application.

The PIP minion who made the initial decision, based on Karen’s handiwork, has to supply a statement for the decision. And reading through this I felt that Karen or the Minion had missed some crucial points about my claim. Therefore, I submitted a Mandatory Reconsideration – though more in hope than expectation. As my wife said, “All you’re doing is asking DWP to re-mark its own homework.”

(Oh, by the way. When DWP send out their decision letter they tell you clearly that you need to request a Mandatory Appeal decision within 1 month of the date of the letter. By the time my letter arrived a week of that month had already gone.)

Anyway, I applied for the Mandatory Reconsideration and sent a covering letter explaining why they had got things wrong. And the reason why was I believed they had not taken into account their own assessment criteria which states:

Considering reliability involves looking at whether the claimant can complete the activity as described:
• safely – in a manner unlikely to cause harm to themselves or to another person, either during or after completion of the activity
• to an acceptable standard
• repeatedly – able to repeat the activity as often as is reasonably required
• in a reasonable time period – no more than twice as long as the maximum period that a non-disabled person would normally take to complete that activity

I explained why I felt this in my submission, with examples.

My Mandatory Reconsideration request was sent off on 25th March. During April May and June, the sun shone, the birds sang. But in my world, there was a perpetual little black cloud of worry hanging over me.

On the 2nd July the little black cloud burst, when I heard the DWP had not overturned its decision. For 3 or 4 days I was in a dark place. Darker than I’ve ever been before. I was frightened and I felt what’s the point. Thankfully, my wife realised what was going on and helped me through.

And one of the things she got me to do was to focus on an appeal. (And of course, DWP insist on an appeal request being lodged within a month of the date of their decision. My Mandatory Reconsideration decision letter was dated 24th June and it arrived on 2nd July.

After several days in which I scoured the internet for information, I thought I’d turn to social media to see if I could get some help. Now bear in mind that I studied law at university, I have another degree, and in my working life I was used to form filling and so on. But I was daunted by this process. I needed help. So, I put out a Tweet.

Within no time several people responded with some really good advice and one in particular sounded hopeful. It was from someone called Ben Furner of Furner Communications. Ben is disabled himself and specialises in PR work relating to disabilities. In a message he promised he’d phone.

He was good as his word and a couple of days later we spoke at length. He felt I had good grounds for an appeal and said he’d help. And first off, he helped me find the right words for the appeal form.

After that we spoke a couple of other times with Ben giving me pointers on the kind of evidence I needed to get together, including from a physiotherapist.

And this is where it’s useful having contacts. I have a cousin who is a retired physio and I asked her if she knew of a physio who might be able to give me a consultation. My cousin pointed me to her friend Charlotte. It turned out that Charlotte although no longer practising, she had experience of dealing with PIP appeals for patient. She gave me pointers too.

Then I managed to get back in touch with one of the community physios who saw me back in 2017. She came to see me and said she’d write a letter of support.

During all this, I’d heard from Motability saying that my car would have to go back on 20th August as I was no longer receiving Enhanced PIP. They take no account of an appeal pending. This seemed so unfair. I was appealing, and who knows I might win, but in the meantime the car would go back.

We reached the decision that we’d buy the car as we realised to buy a replacement and have £3,000 worth of adaptations done was beyond us. Fortunately, Motability were really helpful and offered to sell the car to me for a very competitive price.

Meanwhile I’d written yet another statement about my condition and why I felt the decision was wrong. I’d sent this to Ben to critique.

About a week ago Ben and I had another talk. He was pleased with the evidence gathering and we were talking about when we’d submit papers. Ben was also aware that DWP had until 11th of August to reply to my request for an appeal. And Ben said something interesting:

“I’m hearing more and more of DWP phoning up people applying for appeals and offering a settlement. If you get such a call be careful. Come back to me before you agree anything.”

I assured him I would and said that I was only interested in getting the Enhanced PIP so I could get a Motability car. And anyway, I knew I’d have to go all the way to appeal.

On 10th August I got a phone call from DWP. A lady tasked with reviewing appeal applications. She told me that she had reviewed ALL the papers and was pleased to confirm that I was entitled to Enhanced Mobility rate meaning I could continue with my adapted car. She told me that Karen the original assessor had not commented on the fact that I came to the interview in my scooter. I had pointed this out in the Mandatory Reassessment. “And I’m sorry Mr. Gray it should have been picked up then.”

I could not believe that DWP would not be fighting the appeal and neither could Ben Furner.

Upshot is my mobility PIP will be at the enhanced rate and I can go back on to the Motability scheme.

This has been a horrible experience. As I’ve said, I’m not unintelligent but I have found the whole process daunting. How would someone who finds paperwork challenging cope?

What have I learned?

Firstly, the importance of appealing. Don’t sit back and give in. I’ve heard several different people say that the chances of success are high. According to an article on the Independent Living web site, as of April 2020, 76% of PIP appeals to the Tribunals are successful.

Secondly, this begs the question why isn’t something being done to stop 76% of PIP cases being wrongly assessed in the first place? The cost of incorrect admin must be huge. Or has some Government minister worked out that it’s worth it compared to the 25% of appeals not upheld.

Thirdly. Benefit fraud versus tax fraud. The last job I did before entering ministry was managing a housing benefits fraud investigation team. Therefore, I know some fraud exists. But equally I know benefit fraud is minute compared say to tax fraud

A Government report provides estimates of fraud and error levels in the benefit system in Great Britain for the financial year 2018 to 2019.

The main points from the report are:
• 2.2% of total benefit expenditure was overpaid due to fraud and error
• the estimated value of overpayments was £4.1 billion
• the net government loss, after recoveries, was £3.0 billion, or 1.6% of benefit expenditure
• 1.1% of total benefit expenditure (or £2.0 billion) was underpaid due to fraud and error

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/fraud-and-error-in-the-benefit-system-financial-year-2018-to-2019-estimates#:~:text=The%20main%20points%20from%20the,or%201.6%25%20of%20benefit%20expenditure

Compare tax fraud / evasions

HMRC reported in June 2018 the total tax gap at £33 billion for 2016/17, representing 5.7% of total tax liabilities.

Throughout the tax year running from 2016 to 2017, the total cost of tax avoidance came to approximately £1.7 billion, while tax evasion was around £5.3 billion within the same time frame.

Overall, it’s estimated that the UK’s loss of revenue due to tax evasion comes to around £70 billion.

£2 billion has so far been recovered from perpetrators of offshore tax evasion in just under a decade.
https://www.patrickcannon.net/insights/uk-tax-evasion-statistics/#:~:text=Cost%20of%20Tax%20Evasion%20in%20the%20UK&text=Throughout%20the%20tax%20year%20running,to%20around%20%C2%A370%20billion.

Fourthly, why does the Motability car have to go back pending appeal? This is hugely unjust to those people who have their appeals upheld but who lose their car in the meantime. Some won’t be able to make other arrangements as we could have done. (Though if the call hadn’t come from DWP on Monday we would have bought the car incurring expense we didn’t ultimately need.)

I think my MP gets fed up of me writing to her about all and sundry. Well she’ll be getting another missive very soon.

Pilgrims or Saunterers?

I gave this as a talk for a Zoom service called The Big Sing on Friday 24th July 2020 organised by a friend, Jayne.

On 22nd July 2016 I went on an enjoyable 12 mile walk with a friend called Jayne. It was part of the Imber Perimeter Walk on Salisbury Plain. Jayne was about to celebrate a significant birthday and she'd set herself a challenge of walking the whole Imber Walk by her birthday. She invited friends to join in for various sections. Originally my wife was going to take part too but Unfortunately she couldn’t get the day off work. So Jayne and I spent an enjoyable afternoon tramping along chatting about all manner of things. Some silly, some serious. Some involving railways.

It proved to be the last significant walk I ever did, as in early September 2016 my life changed when I was suddenly taken ill. I don’t need to tell the whole history. But the illness left me with a significant level of paralysis in my right leg. My long-distance walking days are over.

I spent 3 months in hospital and over a year recuperating.

During this time of recuperation, I remember being visited by a fellow minister. We had a chat as you do and then out of the blue, he said to me “So David. How are things between you and God?”

The question threw me at first. But I was able to answer it easily and truthfully “Things between me and God are fine.” They were and they are.

I think my minister friend expected to me to be angry at God for what had happened. But anger at God is not something I ever experienced. In fact, more than anything during my illness I came to walk closer to God than ever before. And in part that was because God sent people to accompany me on that dark time in my life. Fellow pilgrims on the journey. People to shine the Christ light. People to bring hope.

There was Michael the West Indian health care assistant who would come into my room singing hymns such as “Shine Jesus shine” even if he didn’t know at first, I was a Christian. There was Joe a friend and former colleague who called in at 7pm on my birthday on his way back to London from a walking weekend in the Brecon Beacons. There was my good friend Helen who called in several times and prayed with me, and on one occasion gave me a holding cross “because I felt you needed this David” (She was right.) There was my friend Lenny who would leave work on a Friday afternoon in Swindon, battle with the traffic to get to see me in Bristol (on one occasion turning up as I was being wheeled out of my room for yet another CT scan.) And of course, there was the aforementioned Jayne who was such a friend to us both and who visited many times and always made me laugh but also had wise words.

As I say, I feel sure that God sent these people (and others) to accompany me and my family during our time of need. To be pilgrims with me on my journey.
One of the stories of Jesus in the Bible takes place on a road between Jerusalem and a village of Emmaus a few miles outside the city. The story has two of Jesus disciples trudging along the road on the first Easter Sunday evening. The two disciples are downcast because they have seen a story end badly a couple of days ago. They had seen Jesus die on a cross and be laid in a grave.

They are joined by a stranger. The stranger is in fact Jesus, but they do not recognise him. The stranger encourages them to talk and they tell him all that has happened. Having heard their story Jesus takes it up from where they left off. And he shows them how his death, far from being the end of the story was only the end of a chapter and a whole new story has now started with his resurrection. A whole new story of eternal life. Of hope.

Many of us walk along our own Emmaus road from time to time, dejected, downcast, rejected. But during those times we are not alone. Jesus is with us. We might not recognise him, but he is there. Often, he is there through the presence of someone else. Someone we might know well; someone who might come as a surprise to us. Jesus is there through them.

And when we walk alongside someone who is glad of our company or in need of our company, we are being Jesus to them.

The photo at the top of this blog is of my wife and our friend Jayne on another occasion walking along chatting. I love this photo.

If the thought of being on a pilgrimage, or being a pilgrim, is not something you can relate to, I want to leave you with a thought written by a man called John Muir. A Scottish born American conservationist who was responsible for founding the Yosemite National Park in California. Mr Muir felt that people should spend time sauntering through the majestic beauty of Yosemite not hiking. But I think you could substitute Pilgrimage as sometimes we can see Pilgrimage as an objective in itself when it's not. I feel it is about being alongside someone.

"Hiking - I don't like either the word or the thing. People ought to saunter in the mountains - not hike! Do you know the origin of that word 'saunter?' It's a beautiful word. Way back in the Middle Ages people used to go on pilgrimages to the Holy Land, and when people in the villages through which they passed asked where they were going, they would reply in French, "A la sainte terre,' which means 'To the Holy Land.' And so, they became known as sainte-terre-ers or saunterers. Now these mountains are our Holy Land, and we ought to saunter through them reverently, not 'hike' through them."

We are saunterers on a journey
and companions on the road;
we are here to help each other
walk the mile and bear the load.

What does the Lord require of us?

In 2013 I had a wonderful experience of spending time at Fairview United Methodist Church in Mooresville North Carolina. It was part of an exchange program by the World Methodist Council. My colleague and now friend Rev Dr David Calhoun came to Swindon. I leave that there!

I was truly blessed. I learned so much and made some wonderful friends. If you look back through my blog, you’ll find lots more about my time in Mooresville.

During my time in North Carolina I visited the Civil Rights Museum in Greensboro. My son had read about it and thought we’d find it interesting. We certainly did.

The museum occupies a former Woolworth’s store. And the front of the museum is the frontage of that former shop. Why? I didn’t realise until we went to the museum.

In February 1960, four African American men entered the store and went into the cafeteria. They sat at the counter. So what? Well, at that time the cafeteria was segregated, and African Americans could only sit in designated seats. Over the period of many months the four men, in due course joined by many others, staged peaceful sit - ins at this store and others started the same protest at other stores in other cities. The protests continued for months until eventually in July 1960 the policy changed – after Woolworths had seen losses of $200,000 ($1.9m today). The full story can be found on the internet under "Greensboro sit ins".

It is fitting then that the International Civil Rights Museum is housed where it is.

On the day we visited we joined a guided tour of the many exhibits in the museum led by a young African American student. (We were the only white people in a group of around 20.) And the tour opened my eyes. Yes, I’d been aware of segregation. I’d seen footage of protests. I was aware of Rosa Parkes and Martin Luther King. But I’d hadn’t appreciated how it worked.

I have several abiding memories. One is of a reconstruction of a waiting room at a bus station. Or I should say two waiting rooms divided by a wall. Built into the wall on each side was a Coca - Cola dispensing machine. In the Whites' room it was 5 cents; in the African American side it was 10 cents.

Then further on was a display marking the bombing of 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham Alabama in 1963 by white supremacists during which 4 children were killed. From memory the Museum has some fragments of a stained-glass window from the church. (A year or so ago, I learned of the wonderful story of how a Welsh newspaper - the Western Mail - launched a fundraising campaign to replace the window as an act of solidarity. The Wales window.)

Then a montage of people who had been arrested for joining in the civil rights protests including several Methodist ministers.

A few weeks later we were in Washington DC and at one of the museums there, there was a powerful exhibition marking the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream" speech given on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

With the protests in the USA at present, following the death of George Floyd, my memories have come back. And I suppose I must ask. What’s changed?

It is a genuine question. I don’t know the answer. I don’t know if African Americans feel things are better now than 50 years ago.

Part of me thinks that as a non-American maybe I shouldn’t express an opinion. But then another part of me, the Christian minister, remembers that at my ordination I was told that among the various duties of a Methodist minister, is that in God’s name I am “to preach by word and deed the Gospel of God’s grace” and “to minister Christ’s love and compassion”. Methodist Worship Book P302 © 1999 TMCP

I don’t know how I can do that from 3,000 miles away and don’t know what I could do anyway even if I was living in the USA.

One thing I did this morning was pray. Along with 3 other ministers one of whom is American as it happens. In my prayer I prayed for peace and I prayed a verse of scripture that is always on my mind:

Micah 6:8 New International Version - UK (NIVUK)

8 And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly[a] with your God.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu knows a few things about standing up for justice and standing out against segregation – although in South Africa it was called “apartheid”. Tutu once said

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you are on the side of the oppressor."

A couple of years ago an old school friend paid me a huge compliment after reading something I’d written (in a blog or a sermon) She said “Well said Dai. You were always the one at school that stood up against something that was unfair. Glad you’ve not changed”

40 years on from school I’ve mellowed in some respects. But I do have an innate sense of right and wrong, justice and mercy. God given perhaps.

Photographs my own.

Open the doors and here's all the people

As I write this, (1st June 2020), we are still waiting to hear news from the Government about when churches can reopen. With lockdown easing, as the Covid19 infection rate is apparently reducing, we see signs of things getting back to normal. Well, the new normal. But as yet, no news about churches.

Over the weekend there were reports in some of the papers that Church of England clergy were “up in arms” that churches can’t reopen whilst car showrooms for example can. (There’s a whole other blog on Mammon there. But it will keep for now.)

At some point churches will be allowed to reopen. (I suspect in terms of Methodist churches, we won’t just need government say so, our own church leadership and insurers will need to give the ok too.) And with this in mind, over the last couple of weeks I’ve asked members of my congregations to take some soundings about starting back.

The feedback I’ve had is that yes people are keen to get back, And undoubtedly some would start back in July say. Though more were more cautious and said about September.

And many recognised the need to protect their own health (many are elderly) and were concerned for my health too. There was also a widespread recognition that it’s not just a case of opening the doors. There are many practical things to consider. Social distancing of course. But in one church many rely on being collected by friends to come to church. Can that happen? And inside that particular church many need to use a lift to access the church (the worship area if you like) itself.

In one of the articles I read – on The Guardian website An anonymous member of the clergy was quoted as saying of the Church of England bishops:

“They should have fought for us to be designated as essential workers, that we must be allowed to minister to people in this crisis,” said one vicar. “But rather than letting us get on with our pastoral role, the bishops have been constantly dishing out instructions.”



What this person was saying was that they needed their church building to minister to people.

I’m sorry. But that is nonsense! A church building should be part of ministry not the whole of ministry.

Yesterday (31st May) was Pentecost. Pentecost is sometimes referred to as the birthday of the Church. And in that sense we mean the whole Church, the body of Christ. Pentecost is the day upon which the Holy Spirit came to the disciples and empowered them to go out, initially into the streets of Jerusalem (see Acts 2). But then much further afield, to bring the good news to all people “Jew and Gentile, slave and free” as Paul puts it in 1 Corinthians 12:13

I’ve been thinking a lot about those first disciples recently. The Easter stories - of them being in locked rooms following Jesus’ death and, at that stage not knowing of his Resurrection. People afraid to leave the safety of a locked room seems to strike a chord.

But those disciples, the very foundation of the Church, were soon released from their self-imposed lockdown out into the world by the Holy Spirit.

For them, being Church wasn’t about buildings, it was about Christ and bringing Christ’s Good News to people where they were. And I can’t help but wonder what those disciples (and indeed Jesus himself) would make of how in our age, the Church, in most parts of the world seems to be represented by buildings rather than people.

Here in Chippenham, during the lockdown I’m pleased to say that the Churches Together have been working tirelessly to support the work of the town’s foodbank (run from the Salvation Army citadel.) Christians from several denominations have been volunteering to collect and deliver food to those in need. (as well as non Christians too it must be said.) And there are many in need. Other churches have contributed financially or operated mini foodbanks in their part of town.

That is the Church. Yes, using a church building, but being the Church.

In the final chapter of Matthew’s Gospel, we are told that the disciples gather on a mountain with Jesus and he then gives them “the Great Commission”

18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28: 18 – 20

Once we’re back inside our churches, it will be good to remember that we need to get out more!

Photo by www.gphillipsphotography.com