There's always someone worse off than yourself

There’s always someone worse off than yourself

A couple of years ago now, I had the privilege of getting to know John. John was a young man in his 30s. He was born with a life threatening genetic illness. Despite this for most of his life, he’d led a full life. He’d been educated in a mainstream school. He’d gone to university. He’d followed his favourite football team. And even when in his mid to late 20s the disease confined him to a wheelchair that didn’t stop him.

When I came to know John, the disease meant that he was confined to bed in his parents’ house. (His parents nursed him day and night with some help from a local hospice.) During the two years or so I knew him, I saw how John’s body became frailer and frailer. But none of this diminished John’s outlook on life. In fact, when John heard of a mutual friend who had been diagnosed with cancer he said to his father “There’s always someone worse off than yourself isn’t there Dad?”

What an honour it was to conduct John’s funeral.

Yesterday, I was due in hospital for a fairly minor operation. I’d seen the consultant about 6 weeks ago. I’d been for my pre-operation session with various nurses. I’d been sent the letter telling me what not to eat or drink and I’d drunk the disgusting protein drinks I’d been prescribed. Come the day we were up bright and early for the drive into Bristol as I had to book in at 7am.

I was booked in and shortly after 7am a nurse came and took us through to our own waiting room. She went through a questionnaire and checked my blood pressure and temperature. Both fine. She explained there was someone else on the surgeon’s list and I’d probably go to theatre after waiting for a couple of hours.

After a couple of hours there was no news but the nurse told me to get into one of those delightful hospital gowns. I did this and even lay on the trolley ready to go to theatre. Around 11am the nurse stuck her head round the door. “There’s been a problem with the previous surgery. The surgeon will come and talk to you shortly.” Probably 20 minutes later the surgeon came in. “I’m really sorry Mr. Gray but your surgery is cancelled for today. The previous patient developed complications. The surgery ran overtime and I’m afraid there’s not enough time to deal with you before the next patient.”

I was upset and I was angry. I need this surgery! I’d got up at 5.15am to have it! And then, John’s words came to me “There’s always someone worse off isn’t there?”
The patient before me was clearly worse off than me. And presumably the one after me too or they’d have been bumped.

I’m now scheduled to have the surgery next Tuesday afternoon.

I must say, that before I heard John’s voice in my head (or was it God’s?) I found myself saying “Why wasn’t I the first on the list? Why did I have to wait?” I’ve no idea, apart from recognising that presumably the first patient was worse off than me.

There is always someone worse off than yourself.

At the moment, a dear friend of ours is entering the final stages of a terminal illness. There’s always someone worse off.

Then there are the families and friends of the 22 people murdered in Manchester by a terrorist. There’s always someone worse off.

It can be so easy to dwell on our own misfortunes that we don’t see the misfortunes of others.

Forgive me Lord for thinking about me and not thinking about others.
Forgive me Lord for forgetting there are many, many, people worse off than me.



A prayer:

God of the present moment,
God who in Jesus stills the storm
And soothes the frantic heart;
Bring hope and courage to those facing uncertainty.
Bring hope that you will make them the equal of what lies ahead.
Bring courage to endure what cannot be avoided
For your will is health and wholeness.
You are God and we need you. Amen

© A New Zealand Prayer Book 1989 by the Anglican Church in Aotearoa, New Zealand and Polynesia