I was recently sent this photograph by my former history
teacher at Cwmcarn Comprehensive School, “Mr Jones”. He’s not sure when it was
taken but having shared it on Facebook, with a group of former students, the feeling is that
it might be from June 1979. If so, I was aged 15. I’d be 16 the following
October. Several of us in the photo are wearing small yellow badges signifying
we’d just been made Prefects. You can’t see my badge but mine says that I’m Head Boy.
By the way, I’m the one in the middle with the rather
strange side parting. (Was I hoping this might develop into a haircut that
would later be adopted by 1980s synth pop band a Flock of Seagulls? Or possibly
Phil Oakey from Human League? There’s no other explanation for it.)
I recalled most of the names in the photo and Facebook has filled
in the blanks. Not everyone in the photo is a prefect and we aren’t all in the
same form group – 4R. But most in the photo are from 4R. (The tutor group I’d
been with since my second year at secondary school.) Mr Jones was our form
tutor at the time.
Through social media I’m in touch with many of the people in
this photo but there are some that I’ve lost contact with. Particularly two of
the “girls” who were in 4R. (The dark haired girl seated who was Head Girl –
note the shield badge - and the girl on
the right behind the then on trend Adidas sports bag.) Some in the photo I’ve
met in person over the years at school
reunions, and one took the trouble to come and see me when I was ill; an act of
kindness I’ve not forgotten.
One of the “girls” – “Debbie” - purposely doesn’t do social
media but we’ve kept in touch for over 40 years through old fashioned letters
and phone calls. She’s seated at the
front.
It is a friendship which means neither of us will speak or be in touch with the other for months, then out of the blue Debbie might send me a card or a letter or vice a versa. Or we might end up having an hour long chat on the phone.
I don’t usually keep cards and letters but I do have one Debbie sent I think a couple of years ago. Inside the card is a message “So blessed you’re in my life”. And Debbie had written “This card struck me as perfect as you must know how much I value your friendship … my only entire life thread connection that extends right back to our 12 year old selves. I know you’re in touch with many but you are my only contact from then. I find it very comforting”. Very humbling.
Back to the photo. Looking at it has made me think back.
I expect you’ve come across the idea, perhaps in a newspaper
column “What would you say to your younger self”. I’ve been thinking about
that, looking at this photo. I know my younger self would be surprised that he’s
now a Superintendent Methodist minister. My younger self had dreams of becoming
a lawyer. He just about scraped through enough “O” levels and “A” levels to get
to further education and get a law degree. After that the wheels came off the legal
dream.
I’d certainly tell him that just because they’ve made you Head
Boy doesn’t mean you can’t study hard! (See the previous paragraph.) Likewise I’d
tell him “Yes you do go to chapel on a Sunday, and you do help with Sunday school,
l but that doesn’t mean they will gift you your “O” level RE.” (Yes, the
irony that I am a Methodist minister with a degree in theology who failed his “O”
level RE.) I’d definitely say to him (or
probably the 14 year old about to select O level options) “If you want to
study geology instead of Latin do it. Study the things that interest you. Not
the things others tell you you ought to study. ”
I know the 15 year old had a crush on several of the girls
in the photo (and others not there) but despite his seemingly out going confident
exterior he was always shy underneath and never had the nerve to ask a girl out
on a date. Would I tell him to “go for it”? Maybe. Then again, the 18
year old in sixth form and the 21 year old at university was much the same, apart from somehow getting
the courage to ask out the woman who is now my wife.
Thanks for the memories Mr Jones.
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