You anoint my head with oil

29th August 2013

A series of days reflecting what it’s like to be a minister.

Last week I heard that an elderly church member was now very frail. She’d moved to a care home not long after Easter and I’d visited her about 10 days before I left for the USA. She’d still had some of her spark then. But when I went to see her last week she was barely conscious. She had no direct family and her nearest relative (a niece) had told me that they thought the end was near.

This is always something I find difficult. I am comfortable being with someone who is dying but then again how do you know? The Prayers for the Dying service in the Methodist Worship Book is very sensitive but I can’t help but think what if the person recovers? How would they feel knowing I’ve prayed for them as if they were dying?

One thing the Prayers for the dying service doesn’t include is anointing with oil. And yet this is something I have learned to include with someone who is dying.

3 years ago I was visiting a member of one of my churches who was in the last stages of dying of cancer. She lived a few doors down from a Baptist church and the minister of that church called in to see her one day when I was there. I knew the minister well and we get on well. He asked the lady – I’ll call her Pauline – if she would like us to pray with her and anoint her with oil. Pauline said she’d like this. So that is what we did.

My colleague must have seen me looking sceptical as when we left he explained how in his experience people valued the ancient symbolism of the anointing. I took on board his advice. (To be honest my scepticism was more surprise that a Baptist would use anointing in this way.)

Anyway, late on Sunday evening my dear friend died. I will remember her for years to come because she always read Bible passages in church so beautifully with so much feeling and with a lovely Wiltshire burr.

Otherwise it has been a case of visiting a few people in hospital and being informed about people who have a series of illnesses or other issues. One or two really need long term support and one in particular could do with the kind of support that a Stephen minister could offer.

There is a real need for Stephen ministers. Some people need more time than I can hope to give and equally their needs are more than pastoral visitors can offer.